Maintaining Your Personal Identity In Marriage and Motherhood

Hello guys! Welcome back to my blog! Since my last collab with Theresa was such a great success, I teamed up with her again to bring you all another great collab. So just like last time, please make sure to check out her post here

I know that I am not the only woman that is married or have kid(s) and is busy, busy, busy, doing all of the things for everyone and not one thing for ourselves. Let me just say this… I love being a wife and mom and taking care of my family but what I don’t want to do is lose myself in the process. What I mean by this is that I always want to maintain my personal identity aside from being a wife and mom.

It’s so hard to get wrapped up in those roles, that we as women often forget who we are personally. There are things that you can do that will help you to avoid losing your personal identity in a relationship and in motherhood. I’m not saying go out and do things that would jeopardize any of the two but I am encouraging you all to be the best you and to not lose yourself.

Keeping Your Identity in Motherhood

  • Share with your kid(s) who you are as a person. Show them what you are passionate about and if you can, get them involved in what you love to do.
  • Surround yourself with a great support group. This can include a group of ladies who are mothers that don’t mind having kid free fun from time to time. It’s really important to do things separate from your kids so that you can get that much needed time to have fun.
  • Take breaks when needed, as often as they are needed to recharge. We are all humans and we, especially as mothers, need times where we can just relax and breathe.

Keeping Your Identity in Marriage

  • Continue to chase whatever dreams you had/have before you became a wife. It’s very important to have something that is for you and to have your own accomplishments within your marriage for you two to celebrate together.
  • Have days where you go and do things without your spouse that you love doing. I love exploring bookstores/libraries and then coming home and telling/showing my husband about my finds. I’m a bookworm, that’s my thing and I make time for it.
  • Know and/or learn your personality. Take time to learn things about yourself that you can share with your spouse. I learn new things about myself everyday and I love them all.

Comment below and share with me how you keep your identity in both marriage & motherhood.

Until next time…stay positive!

-Toya

32 responses to “Maintaining Your Personal Identity In Marriage and Motherhood”

  1. This is a great post with lots of great advice! Thanks for sharing, I definitely need to take some time for myself. I try to by getting pedicures or massages.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pedicures and massages are the best! Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  2. Thank you i was about to loose my identity until i read this. Tou changed the wau i see things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad I could help!

      Like

  3. With two kids age 3 and under, I have little time for anything. That’s a huge reason why I started blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for stopping by!

      Like

  4. Great advice! Definitely so important to do your own thing without your spouse. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it definitely is. Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. As a woman, you need to play different roles. Many times we try to be so perfect in each role that just sacrifices our own ambitions and needs. It should not be done like that always, have to make a time for our own dreams and yes important to be clear with your husband and kids what you want in your life. Inspirational read for every woman.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this! It’s so important for women to go after their dreams. Everyone deserves to do just that. Thanks for sharing!

      Like

  6. Usually when i go to the library, I only have energy to get kids books, but I LOVE going to the library and getting some fun books for myself. Great reminders!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I’m the same way when it comes to going to the library and getting a great book!

      Like

  7. Very wise words. I have recently becoming a mama to my second child and it’s a reminder that the next 12 months are really important to maintaining my identity as me as I know how easily it can get lost!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right! It becomes so easy to get wrapped up in everything that’s going in around us that we forget about taking care of ourselves

      Like

  8. Totally love taking time for myself. I think it’s
    Ok to put your career aside temporarily so your husband can peruse his. I had to put a pause on my career to move and care for my family but it’s all apart of the teamwork. Now he’s steady and supporting my career move.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree! Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

  9. These are fabulous tips! I started a group on facebook for local moms looking for mom friends. We do playdates and mom’s nights out. It is wonderful to have that support and be able to get away from the kiddos sometimes.

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  10. Part of my identity is having things that make me feel worthy like blogging! Great points!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ☺️

      Like

  11. Hey Toya new follower here… I stuggled with keeping my identity after being a wife. Its hard but so necessary because you can become full of resentment reallt quick.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello! How are you? Yes, it can definitely be a struggle but finding those things that makes you happy for you are so important to hang on to.

      Like

      1. Absolutely. It’s sad but funny at the same time I was thinking ti myself how much I love hot showers… because that’s the only alone time I have at home 🤣🤣🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I can definitely relate 🤣

          Like

  12. Reblogged this on Cynthia Hilston – Author & Blogger and commented:
    I love when a woman isn’t afraid to speak up about this topic. I am an advocate for maintaining your identity even though you’re a mom and/or a wife. Who were you before you got married and/or had kids? Too many women get caught up in running errands, cleaning the house, cooking the meals, and taking care of everyone else in the household that they neglect themselves. You shouldn’t do that.

    No, seriously. You really shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself!

    It’s not selfish. If you are miserable, you make everyone around you miserable, including your family. You are a better mom and wife by taking time for yourself.

    Stop the guilt. Stop it. You are worth it!

    I have seen too many women lose their identity. Once your kids are grown, then what? You find yourself a shell. You cannot live vicariously through your kids. They will grow up and move out (one day, haha), and you ought to feel proud that they have become productive, hopefully happy members of society.

    Find something you do just for you, even if it’s taking a few minutes to meditate or read or take a walk. I work out most mornings. I write. I get a massage once a month.

    My husband of 15 years and I still go on a date once a month. We will talk at the end of each day after all the craziness is over and the kids are in bed. I still go out with my friends.

    And guess what? I still get the cleaning, cooking, and errands done. I still spend time with my kids. It is totally possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! It is so important to do things for yourself. I have made time for myself everyday and it feels great! Thanks for stopping by and thanks for reblogging this. I really appreciate it!

      Like

  13. […] Maintaining Your Personal Identity In Marriage and Motherhood — Read on thelifewithlatoya.com/2018/04/28/maintaining-your-personal-identity-in-marriage-and-motherhood/ […]

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  14. […] with my girl Latoya again! She shares her thoughts on how to remain true to yourself over at The Life With Latoya! Check her out you won’t regret it. Last week hubby and I have sat through a thousand […]

    Liked by 1 person

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